so it is not dead

...I'm going to wear blue and yellow (I mean, maize).

I'm gonna DIE


oh well, at least after I'm dealt with I'll be wearing one OSU color!

not tagged

You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks (one person can ask just one question). Bold indicates 'yes".

Kissed someone on your top friends
Ever told a lie
Video taped yourself having sex
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
Been arrested
Kissed a picture
Slept in until 5 PM
Fallen asleep at school
Held a snake
Ran a red light
Been suspended from school
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident
Sang karaoke
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose
Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Kissed in the rain
Sang in the shower
Gave your private parts a nickname
Sat on a roof top
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
Broken a bone
Shaved your head
Slept naked
Blacked out from drinking
Played a prank on someone
Had a gym membership
Felt like killing someone
Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry
Cried over someone you were in love with
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets
Shot a gun
Tripped on mushrooms
Donated Blood
Eaten cheesecake
Still like someone you shouldn't
Have a tattoo
Crossed your eyes
Mixed a cocktail
Read Shakespeare
Lived in another country
Tied a cherry stalk (or similar) with your tongue
Played a violin
Lied to get out of work


Ink is fun. I'm having trouble talking, I have a mild fever, and I have school in the morning. Jager and nachos are classier than champagne. I need $130 by the end of the month. Italics!

Long ago in a far away land
there lived a family of three women and a man
On a farm from dawn till dusk
they worked quite hard and work hard they must
for the evil baron (His name was Joe)
loved it when they worked with hoes.
They worked them day and worked them night,
they worked them until the silvery light
of the moon shone from the wooden handles-
polished brightly, like bait for vandals
to pilfer and sell for a princely sum
so that they could pay for their quarts of rum.
No other gardening tool would work,
to see a shovel made Joe twitch and jerk
and a weed-whacker would send him into fits,
all rakes he wanted to smash to bits.
This baron paid the family well for this,
to help his satisfy this strange fetish.
All was well and all was grand
until a newcomer graced the land
with his charm and his manners, all well and proper
and this newcomer's name was Baron von Showstopper.
This strange new man made Joe uneasy,
and what the man liked made him all the more queasy.
What Baron von Showstopper most enjoys
is to watch little girls as they play with their toys.
'This cannot be!' cried Joe, 'How sick! How vile!
This mad man should be shot and tossed upon the pile
where the worst of villains go!", he said,
whilst he polished his favorite hoe in bed.
And so our newfound hero Joe
made it his duty to make it so
that little girls can play in peace,
he would be their Shepard and protect them as his sheep.
So our brave young Joe gathered his courage
to rid the land of this evil scourge.
At this point it occurs to me that I might
mention that the Baron whom Joe was to fight
weighed four-hundred six pounds to Joe's one hundred nine
but Joe had a plan and this plan was sublime
He had dressed in a costume of frills, lace and curls
For he knew that Showstopper can't resist little girls.
Joe puffed up his chest, and knocked on the door
and the moment he saw him the Baron was floored
but Joe was not daunted, not in the least
he picked up his hoe and beheaded the beast.
And hereafter the skinny and young Baron Joe
was known as a hero and King of the Hoes
And the moral of this tale, you'll all do well to know
is don't be a pedophile or you'll get your shit ruined by some skinny dude with a gardening fetish.
Damn.